My cat has gotten so ridiculously fat that she's now officially ball shaped. Earlier today she was too lazy to get off of the remote control she was sitting on, so instead I kinda rolled her off of it. And I gotta say, boy howdy do I love her all the more because of it. I have a yen for fat things. For some reason, roly poly babies and animals get me all snuggle-cited. The other day I spent 2 hours looking on the SPCA and Operation Kindness websites trying to find a suitably adorable puppy that I could adopt and make my parents cry about it a little since they're kind enough to let me move back in with them for a bit. I eventually pried my salivating self away from the adorability and tried to imagine things I hate like hippies until the post puppy glow died.
Other than that not tons has been going on. I have applied for a job in Dallas and intend to do so many more times. The job search is so.....vast. Even if I know what I want, I need to know names of companies in order to find anything on Monster or Craigslist quickly or not sheer luck. And if I get one more email from an insurance company that offers me employment, I'm going to insure THEM.
In Boston I have a lot of friends that are not really good friends, but could be. As in, I feel a connection with them, either because we like the same stuff or talking is just easy or they have the same sense of humor, whatever. However, I feel that after I move away that will more or less drift away until it's kinda not there anymore. I've been trying to decide whether or not I should care. I would say definitely yes, but on the other hand, if I keep mooning over lost chances I'll drive myself crazy. I have one friend who insists that she has a "friend quota". I don't think that these things exist because inevitably you can't possibly get along that well with that many people, and even if you do you have to wonder what they're really like. An example, I have a friend here in Boston that I continually try to get close to via the Meg plan of attack wherein I basically am way too blunt for my own good. I didn't say it was a *good* plan.
I'm impatient by nature so I tend to try to force friendship trust when I decide I really like and respect someone. It actually really doesn't happen all that often, but it works really well when the other person wants the same trust that I do. For all of my girlfriends this more or less happened, but it was also a mutual action. I find that I want the same trust with male friends of mine and it never happens because of the awkwardness of possible attraction. Even if we've established that nothing romantic is a possibility, there's still a hesitation. I have to wonder if it's a personality thing specific to certain people or if I just get it or something. I've had the same reservations, but I tend to ignore them until they come up or I go ahead and establish something. I'm not saying this doesn't cause problems, but come on people, isn't life too short to let sexuality come in between a possible good friendship?
And while I'm on the subject of friends, a quick recap of the weekend. Friday was another missed opportunity as far as bonding is concerned, but I did get to go see Joel at Abe's performance. It was really pretty cool and I'm happy I went even if I'm too poor for a $10 cover. Today was laid back and then Em and I went to the boyses concert which had WAY too much Morley, the bastard child of English renaissance composition. After Emily and I relived our teenage years by doing each other's hair and makeup, we took our obscenely hot selves over to Andy's for a prom party. I was upset because I realized when I showed that I had neither enough sleeve volume, nor enough bling to be considered promish. I mean, I put on so much sparkle that I could have lit a darkened cave with the luminescence of my face, but it didn't compare to rhinestones. Another time, perhaps.
Tonight, Denis YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!! Oh my crap I'm so excited I could burst. Coolest man ever. Yeah, not you or your friend. Only Denis. I joke a lot about wanting to marry people, but if Denis offered I would pass out with joy and surprise. Like a possum. *gargly noises*
Sunday, May 22, 2005
Monday, May 16, 2005
Best work application ever
I am at present online applying for a job for July at an overly respectable retailor in Dallas. This is all part of my never ending quest to not be forced to work in administration for the rest of my paltry life. Firstly, I would like to point out that cats are no good for filling out applications online. Serafina (yes, she has a name) has finally moved on to bigger and better things like biting my ankles, but I doubt this boon can last. It's hard to know who you're putting down as your reference when a fat kitty is sitting in front of the screen.
Anyway, I'll tell briefly about my weekend at the end of this post, but I just have to get off my chest how funny this application is. At the beginning of it all, you tell them where you want to work and then there's a series of questions they ask, java style. So I say "Dallas, TX" since that is where I will be living. One of the first questions they ask me is "Is the job you're applying for in Maryland?" Oooooookay. I hit "no" and move on. Then they ask typical questions such as "Have you ever been convicted of a felony?" etc. and then "Is the job you're applying for in Maine?" Uhhhhhh. No. What? I'm beginning to wonder if they're going to move through all the states when the test switches forums to what appears to be a personality test. Most of the questions were "Are you talkative", "Do you play well with others", "Are you a lazy bum that will inevitably start playing solitaire on the computer the second we turn our backs" and so on. And, most recently, "It is maddening when the courts let guilty criminals go free". I have no idea why that is on an application to work retail sales. Wow. Also, "There's no use having close friends, they always let you down". If I didn't know better, I'd say I was being psycho-analyzed whilst attempting to apply to a freaking department store. I'm selling pants, people, not working in a psychiatric ward. "People are often mean to you". Sup, four eyes?
Well we'll see how the job search goes in general. I figure it can't hurt to apply someplace prestigious like a law firm. Oh wait, I'm not doing that. Actually, one of the jobs I looked at today said that it requires "a strong sense of urgency". Hello, Ma'am, we'd like to offer you avon makeup NOW NOW NOW!!! YOU'RE GOING TO DIE IN THE NEXT 10 MINUTES!!! THE GOVERNMENT WILL STEAL YOUR MONEY AND YOUR CHILDREN WILL EAT CATFOOD UNTIL THEY STARVE WHEN THEIR FATHER CAN'T PROVIDE FOR THEM!!! How much can I put you down for?
Moving on, my weekend was generally quite fun. Just your normal concerts, parties, hanging out with my fake hubby Jeff. Turns out Alex is now jealous that I have chosen another gay man over him, to which I respond, A) I said I was going to marry Jeff when he was straight and it was an option and B) Alex, when you said you wanted to fake marry me last week, you then subsequently totally spurned our love in public. Lame. Saturday was too much drinking and activities that led to very odd dreams. Basically, the dream was multifaceted and long and so weird that I don't really feel at leisure to explain it, but what got me is that for part of it I was more or less leading on two guys. One that resembles very closely someone I actually know and the other who doesn't exist but was super hot. I occasionally have dreams that I would say downright confuse me. It's like I have decided either on a relationship status (read here: friendship) I have or feelings I do or don't have for other people and then I have a dream where I'm either dating them or they're in love with me. I wake up, get a little freaked out, and then, you know, go back to sleep. I lurve to sleep.
Anyway, I'll tell briefly about my weekend at the end of this post, but I just have to get off my chest how funny this application is. At the beginning of it all, you tell them where you want to work and then there's a series of questions they ask, java style. So I say "Dallas, TX" since that is where I will be living. One of the first questions they ask me is "Is the job you're applying for in Maryland?" Oooooookay. I hit "no" and move on. Then they ask typical questions such as "Have you ever been convicted of a felony?" etc. and then "Is the job you're applying for in Maine?" Uhhhhhh. No. What? I'm beginning to wonder if they're going to move through all the states when the test switches forums to what appears to be a personality test. Most of the questions were "Are you talkative", "Do you play well with others", "Are you a lazy bum that will inevitably start playing solitaire on the computer the second we turn our backs" and so on. And, most recently, "It is maddening when the courts let guilty criminals go free". I have no idea why that is on an application to work retail sales. Wow. Also, "There's no use having close friends, they always let you down". If I didn't know better, I'd say I was being psycho-analyzed whilst attempting to apply to a freaking department store. I'm selling pants, people, not working in a psychiatric ward. "People are often mean to you". Sup, four eyes?
Well we'll see how the job search goes in general. I figure it can't hurt to apply someplace prestigious like a law firm. Oh wait, I'm not doing that. Actually, one of the jobs I looked at today said that it requires "a strong sense of urgency". Hello, Ma'am, we'd like to offer you avon makeup NOW NOW NOW!!! YOU'RE GOING TO DIE IN THE NEXT 10 MINUTES!!! THE GOVERNMENT WILL STEAL YOUR MONEY AND YOUR CHILDREN WILL EAT CATFOOD UNTIL THEY STARVE WHEN THEIR FATHER CAN'T PROVIDE FOR THEM!!! How much can I put you down for?
Moving on, my weekend was generally quite fun. Just your normal concerts, parties, hanging out with my fake hubby Jeff. Turns out Alex is now jealous that I have chosen another gay man over him, to which I respond, A) I said I was going to marry Jeff when he was straight and it was an option and B) Alex, when you said you wanted to fake marry me last week, you then subsequently totally spurned our love in public. Lame. Saturday was too much drinking and activities that led to very odd dreams. Basically, the dream was multifaceted and long and so weird that I don't really feel at leisure to explain it, but what got me is that for part of it I was more or less leading on two guys. One that resembles very closely someone I actually know and the other who doesn't exist but was super hot. I occasionally have dreams that I would say downright confuse me. It's like I have decided either on a relationship status (read here: friendship) I have or feelings I do or don't have for other people and then I have a dream where I'm either dating them or they're in love with me. I wake up, get a little freaked out, and then, you know, go back to sleep. I lurve to sleep.
Thursday, May 12, 2005
Batista's ex-girlfriend is a beeyotch.
Happy now, Grumpy Pants? For the record, she might be, but she's also a snotty selfish douche that shouldn't be mooned over.
Okay then. SPEAKING of mooning things, I had a little "adventure" today. I'm not really sure why all the weird stuff happens to me, I just know that it does. So yesterday post work at HLS, I decide to change into my workout clothes pre walking to the gym. There's the Shangri-La of bathrooms on the first floor so I scampered down there. It's HUGE and marble and there's even a cute little settee with a nice screen in front of it in the corner. So I wander in around 5:05, there are no students around and no one really works on the first floor, so I'm all alone. I put my belongings on the bench and begin to change fairly rapidly but without ever really taking any clothes off. It's a trick you learn as a woman in large dressing rooms. I mean, some womens just walk around buck naked, but I loves me some clothes so I tend to kind of pile things on and then take off my original outfit so I'm only wearing one. It kind of reminds me of Cistercian prom, but that's a different story. Anywhom, I'mm there alone when I realize that my gym shorts are the pair that really aren't meant to be worn with yet another pair of underwear since they already have their own built in. I consider this predicament for a moment and then decide "What the hey! No one's been in here for 10 minutes and I'm kind of hidden behind a screen!" For the record, the screen is definitely enough to cover you if no one's looking kinda, but it's not the most concealing article of furniture I've ever seen. Moving on, the very *second* I drop trow, someone walks in the door. She glances, I panic, almost fall over, I can't get my foot through the hole, you get the picture. Whoever it was probably saw my booty, but we'll never know because I ran the second I actually managed to put them on. Kind of like the time I was changing in my room sophomore year and glanced out the window and saw someone STARING STRAIGHT AT ME. Or like the time freshman year when I was living in the yard and changing and classes let out and I fell over trying to put on jeans and revealed my underwear to hundreds of people. The stories go on.
Other than that, SOMEONE who lives in my apartment and is not a mew needs to get over his ex girlfriend. I think we can all agree that she's a bitch, she's not half as cute as I am, he was the attractive one in the relationship anyway, and that he has enough problems without the stress anyway. But he did ask me to put out a small plea for someone to come over and makeout with his hotness so that he can call his ex and tell her. I told him that I wouldn't and Kitty isn't allowed, so we're turning to other sources. Richard, go out and peruse the ladies of Boston and report back to me. I will invent a questionnaire.
Noreen, Nermal is the most awesomest name for a mew mew ever. Liz, we are not going to talk about oozing anymore. Ew. Amy, I think pea soup green is a great color. Em, why aren't we watching Deep Blue Sea?
Okay then. SPEAKING of mooning things, I had a little "adventure" today. I'm not really sure why all the weird stuff happens to me, I just know that it does. So yesterday post work at HLS, I decide to change into my workout clothes pre walking to the gym. There's the Shangri-La of bathrooms on the first floor so I scampered down there. It's HUGE and marble and there's even a cute little settee with a nice screen in front of it in the corner. So I wander in around 5:05, there are no students around and no one really works on the first floor, so I'm all alone. I put my belongings on the bench and begin to change fairly rapidly but without ever really taking any clothes off. It's a trick you learn as a woman in large dressing rooms. I mean, some womens just walk around buck naked, but I loves me some clothes so I tend to kind of pile things on and then take off my original outfit so I'm only wearing one. It kind of reminds me of Cistercian prom, but that's a different story. Anywhom, I'mm there alone when I realize that my gym shorts are the pair that really aren't meant to be worn with yet another pair of underwear since they already have their own built in. I consider this predicament for a moment and then decide "What the hey! No one's been in here for 10 minutes and I'm kind of hidden behind a screen!" For the record, the screen is definitely enough to cover you if no one's looking kinda, but it's not the most concealing article of furniture I've ever seen. Moving on, the very *second* I drop trow, someone walks in the door. She glances, I panic, almost fall over, I can't get my foot through the hole, you get the picture. Whoever it was probably saw my booty, but we'll never know because I ran the second I actually managed to put them on. Kind of like the time I was changing in my room sophomore year and glanced out the window and saw someone STARING STRAIGHT AT ME. Or like the time freshman year when I was living in the yard and changing and classes let out and I fell over trying to put on jeans and revealed my underwear to hundreds of people. The stories go on.
Other than that, SOMEONE who lives in my apartment and is not a mew needs to get over his ex girlfriend. I think we can all agree that she's a bitch, she's not half as cute as I am, he was the attractive one in the relationship anyway, and that he has enough problems without the stress anyway. But he did ask me to put out a small plea for someone to come over and makeout with his hotness so that he can call his ex and tell her. I told him that I wouldn't and Kitty isn't allowed, so we're turning to other sources. Richard, go out and peruse the ladies of Boston and report back to me. I will invent a questionnaire.
Noreen, Nermal is the most awesomest name for a mew mew ever. Liz, we are not going to talk about oozing anymore. Ew. Amy, I think pea soup green is a great color. Em, why aren't we watching Deep Blue Sea?
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