So yesterday morning I hop on the bus for my morning commute and am sitting in the surliest manner I can muster in my sleep deprived state, when we pull over to let on about thirty 10 year olds. Typically in the morning there is a deathly silence on my morning bus. Except that one time when the crazy lady yelled at every bus that was not the one she wanted. That was awesome. At any rate, the noise level in the bus immediately skyrocketed, which was okay with me since my brain hadn't woken up yet anyway. After about 5 minutes I begin to pay attention to the little scamp sharing a seat with me who is talking to his buddy in front of him. Basically, the kid is talking about astronomy, white dwarf stars, galaxies, the sun, etc. It's sorta cute even though he's just a little know-it-all trying to impress his slighty dumber friend. Eventually he left off of talking about the history of the sun ("It's, um, 10 BILLION years old") and began to recite the diameter of all the planets, which was not so cute. Before he switched to then reciting the difference in the diameters of different planets, I noticed that switched from using miles to kilometers but the proportions were the same. I also noticed that his slighty stupider friend did not notice. Oh the follies of youth.
Oooooooooh, just now I was reading some correspondance that I suppose I shouldn't have really been looking at. Except that you really do have to read the longer letters because sometimes they're requesting stuff and whatnot. It's such a catch 22 working in admissions, you're not supposed to look at anybody's information because that would be violating their privacy more than it already is. But if the processors don't weed out from the mail what really does need to garner attention, than nobody's requests would be fulfilled. So you'll have to forgive me that I retell part of it here. Somehow I don't think that the girl who wrote this letter is going to be reading my blog. Call it a hunch.
Anyway, it was basically a request for reconsideration followed by what she considered to be convincing evidence that she really wants to be a lawyer: namely, a contract with her boyfriend. In my personal opinion, this kind of "contract" lends itself to all kinds of wrong. And so it did. This girl, let's call her, oh say, Kristen, wrote a contract to her boyfriend we'll call Peanut. No really, Kristen and Peanut's contract. I hope that's either a pet name or that he hates his parents. At any rate, her "contract", which she *submitted to Harvard Law School*, includes such gems as requesting that Peanut not smoke or go to Atlantic City, having Peanut try harder to get an erection and orgasm so as to protect the delicate fragility of Kristen's ego, have Peanut practice a religion because otherwise his soul will be damned and Kristen will be sad, requested that Peanut not talk to, kiss, or hug other girls, have Peanut stop judging Kristen for not wanting to be a girlie girl, etc. Also, I'm pretty sure Peanut cheated on Kristen and calls her primarily for booty calls. And he also appears to cancel dates for card games. I don't want to break Kristen's heart, but I'm not sure that a "contract" of demands is really what's going to save the relationship. Sort of like calling him Peanut in a contract that you send to a bunch of law schools.
Speaking of relationships doomed for failure, I think that Tara got married to set me up on a date. I'm flattered and her friends are hot, but somehow the fact that they live in different states makes me not really want to be as smexy as possible around them. Although I had a fun time subtlely flirting with them. It was like my own little project for the wedding. That and learning how not to hate life when I was hung over. And I ended up having at least 5 new dandies of a bruise on my person from various and asundry stupid crap I did like falling off of a boat and running into a brick wall. Also, as a total nonsequitor, Caroline's cat, which I am taking care of now, totally watched me shower yesterday. Creeeeeepy. That's a bad mew!!
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7 comments:
That contract would not be legally enforceable; it lacks consideration. Perhaps I have learned something in my first year of law school after all!
Incidentally, the situation between Peanut and Kristen is almost identical to that of a classmate of mine and his girlfriend...she got rejected by HLS too! And so she has decided to join us at Georgetown. Meg, you have got to tell me their names...this would be a delightfully amusing coincidence.
Ummmmmmm I may have used their real names. Insofar as Peanut can be a real name.
Lucky cat ...
anonymous - if you're going to say stuff like that, then have the huevos to publish your name. otherwise people might think it was me. by the way, meg, you're hot.
also, if peanut actually put his name to that contract then it was clearly under duress (threat to withhold booty). normally that does not constitute duress but let's face it, kristen doesn't seem like the kind of girl you stay with for her acute intelligence or her sparkiling personality.
I think my favorite part about Matt's post is that it uses the words "publish" and "huevos" in the same sentence.
I think my favorite part about Matt's post is the part where he says you're hot.
Because, you know, you are.
Yes, you are.
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