Sorry bout that. I basically got back from my trip and got a job and kind of fell off the face of the earth. Sooooo... I GOT A JOB!! I'm working in production for a catalog company that my brother worked in IT for years ago. My three primary functions are doing whatever the VP of Production and Design (Masami = awesome) tells me to do and taking care of organizing info on the copy and nonprofits that we feature in the catalog. My two most favorite charities that I've discovered so far are Quail Unlimited and this one, which is just plain awesome, but I will leave you to discover it yourself. Of course, this may all change when they see that I am either a genius or a freaking idiot, but for now I am content.
In other news, my pants don't fit anymore. It would be alright, but they fall down. Like, off of my ass. The logical thing to do would be buy more pants. However, and I think we can all agree on this, that is stupid. The truly logical thing to do would be to try a belt first and then realize the belt is, also, too big for me. So I did that and it was pretty awesome. My pants fell pretty much halfway down my butt the other day when I was helping to stain and move some wood side tables that had come in the mail all jacked up AND were on backorder. Go India. I'm pretty sure that at least 5 of our warehouse workers saw my striped underwear. The guys are really nice and the underroos were festive, so we can all be thankful for small blessings, but in the meantime I'll be taking votes on how to handle the pants situation. These are my top five answers:
1. Gain back the 15 lbs I just spent the last 4 months losing with my patented diet of 2 boxes of cereal a day
2. The gap is roughly the size of a kitten, so I can just stuff one in there to handle things
3. Wear them at midass level and buy underwear displaying sentimental messages ("May your holidays be blessed with love and laughter", "You are the best granddaughter a grandmother could have", etc.)
4. Only wear skirts, but refuse to shave legs
5. Become a gangrened prostitute
I'm not going to bias your vote with my opinion, but I'm pretty sure that I a) just bought some cheerios and b) went on the SPCA website yesterday. You tell me.
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7 comments:
You left out suspenders. matching striped suspenders. They do that whole avoidance thing too, which can be cool. example: http://www.suspenders.com/suspendergal1_large.jpg
Fashion sense from the master.
I left out suspenders because they are, and I'm not kidding about this, NOT an option.
*shudder*
I had a friend who used to wear rainbow striped suspenders. She was not a lesbian. Not that there's anything wrong with being a lesbian. I just think that rainbow suspenders belong in the category of "gay pride." And since most gay people would not be caught dead in accessories so hideous, I never have to see them, so all is well.
My pants fall off my ass too. They used to fit when I was about 3 sizes bigger. Go fig. On principle (=laziness), I won't buy new pants either. I think the only solution is to make all of our guy friends lose huge amounts of weight, not let them buy new pants, and direct them to the Manties website.
holy cow this was exactly what i needed at 4:31 a.m.
wow meg you're back my life is complete this is awesome.
Just buy pants...sheesh!!! :-P
three words: ass implant surgery
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