I don't personally believe that directional comments are appropriate on a blog because it's really an online diary meant to convince myself that people care what I think. However, I've also always been subject to the whims of others and I think a tacit understanding of online forums is no reason to let that go. To whit, Matt:
1. Ah, sports. Where they throw the ...ball into the hoop and get a touchdown while scissor kicking with the thingy. Go team! Which team? I dunno. Which ones like kittens? Wait, he looks like he loves his mother. And I sort of do like blue better green. Sometimes. I suppose it depends on the shade. Like, I like kelly green more than forest green, but I like both of those way more than olive. Unless it's paired with a nice muted yellow. Do we have any more chips? I'm hungry again. Wait, why are they yelling? Did we get something? A point? Ah screw it I'm just going to go get hammered and watch hockey.
2. If you don't think this is funny, then I have no remedy for whatever ails you. And it just so happens to be the best song of all time.
3. Cashmere lounge pants are exactly what they sound like. Lounge pants made out of luxurious cashmere. I like the concept because it implies both unnecessary luxury and an impressive degree of laziness I regularly exhibit on Saturday mornings. Although now that I've discovered that play Saved by the Bell on Fox at 11 am, I have a raison d'etre again.
4. Wes does not, in fact, cheat in class. He sells his body for better grades. I'm not going to go into specifics, but if our ITOM teacher leers at him anymore while caressing his pocket protector, I'm going to say something.
5. As for the ladies, Wes and I came up with a brilliant scheme just today of how he could effectively pick up whatever teenagers happened to wander through the museum. In the meantime I'll start taking Krav Maga classes or something and give his number to whichever girl kicks my ass first. For that matter, I could probably choose one of the hotties that most recently jacked me in the face in soccer. The opportunities abound in the injury rife existence I lead.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
9 comments:
YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER TELL!
I appreciate the fact that you went out of your way to answer my comments from your previous post. You're obviously in love with me and I don't blame you. Sure, I'm charming and good looking and athletic and a smartass. All the things you're looking for in a man. But I'm also Mexican. And Jewish. And deaf. And a vegetarian. I just don't see how a girl like you and a deaf Mexican Jew like me could ever make things work. Perhaps if you were a little more Mexican, and I a little less deaf, we could make this work out. but sadly, I just don't see it happening. I'm sorry to break your heart, but perhaps somewhere there's a guy out there for you. And he's not Mexican or Jewish or deaf or vegetarian or gay (did I mention I'm gay? Well I am.). I hope you can find that man of your dreams. Until then, he'll just have to stay...in your dreams...
(cue outtro mariachi music)
You're right, I wouldn't date a vegetarian after an ill-advised run in with a vegan in college who did turn out to be gay. After dumping me. Speaking of which, I'm going to go drown my sorrows in brownies.
Holy spumoni, J___ McM___? I would never have imagined that, although in retrospect the San Francisco origin, sheer tenority of voice, and curious resemblance to Ted of Queer Eye could have at least suggested the possibility to me. On the other hand, in defense of my apparently broken gaydar, it must be granted that Ms. Vanderwhosit was a fairly effective cover after all.
You're going to come watch me when I join the roller derby right?
How many times do I have to say yes, ho? I won't even discretely inch away when you get arrested for starting a full arena fight.
aw, I was just razzing you to get you to call me a "o." You know I love it when you talk dirty. Rrrrow!
Wait, what?
or a "ho" as the case may be...
(note to self, quit spilling juice on the keyboard)
Post a Comment