My week in verse

Actually, that's an outright lie. Instead I will use two lists, one good things that have happened to me and one of bad, and a simple numbering system, which I personally always thought worked better for poetry anyway.

Inferno

1. I woke up today to several things. Serafina had burrowed her way to between my feet and was mewing angrily everytime I moved. But, more importantly, my mother had called and left a message saying, "He didn't do it." Referring, naturally, to her 1 year old puppy that poos in my room pretty much every other day. I found out later that she was joking; though, ironically, I also found out that he had eaten two shoes of mine, one an expensive suede wedge, but I think the damage can be hidden, and one from a pair by Coach of wooden mules that, for the menfolk out there, look a little bit like this, but more summery with a wooden sole. I handed them to my mother in an "I told you so" fashion, and she estimates that she can sand them down. The fact that the dog almost ruined two pairs of shoes is bad, the image of my mother with an industrial sander is adorable.

2. I ate enough roasted potatos in one day to make a petite ox ill.

3. The sixth Harry Potter. I won't ruin it for others, but What the fuck, J.K.? What the fuck?

4. I spent an entire week watching Jeopardy hoping that the asshole that's the current champion will lose, with my hopes built up during one particular game by some dude that looks like John Malkovich, only to have them dashed in Final Jeopardy. It burns.

5. I decided I kind of like Mariah Carey's song "We Belong Together".

Paradiso

1. I realized that I hate Mariah Carey's song "We Belong Together".

2. I effectively convinced my mother to look online at kittens since I'm gunning to get a Havana Brown for my birthday.

3. I got to see the movies Ladyhawk, From Dusk Till Dawn, and I'm about to watch The Guyver. The best bad movie of all time starring none other than Mark Hamilton. Run, don't walk, to the video store.

4. I also ate almost an entire box of Honey Bunches of Oats (Strawberry edition) in under 4 days. Screw protein.

5. My mom's new hairstylist gave her a hair cut that resembles that of my 4th grade Texas history teacher. So cute. I made her wash it immediately.

Alrighty then.