"That" Guy

Blogging for me is not what I would term a "regular" activity. However, sometimes a girl's just gotta write. Or dance. Whichever. The past few months have been fairly standard. IE full of classes and the occasional life-related snafu, but good nonetheless and no complaints truly. I did learn today that I need to buy smaller tomatoes, but that is more of a life lesson than snafu. Ironically, the last week has been full of drama, but I don't think a blog posted on Facebook is truly the forum in which I want to share these details. Suffice to say I've lost 2 lbs (yay!) from not eating due to stress (boo!), and thus a giant tomato is a little daunting from a culinary execution standpoint. But I've always enjoyed a challenge.

Anyway, this leads me to tonight. Shortly after being viciously attacked by a bee that my mother attempted to kill in my apartment but ultimately just royally pissed off, I headed off to a Harvard Club of Dallas Happy Hour that featured a discussion on the Psychology of Happiness. I didn't know quite what to expect, but apparently a similarly titled course has become one of the most popular in Harvard's history, massing an average of 900 students per class. Wowzers. The discussion was fairly interesting and basically talked about the concept of Optimism, or "Resilience" as the psychologist who pioneered the concept called it (Seligman). Basically, it entails "expressed gratitude". There have been studies that prove that description of a memory overrides the actual memory. So, in essence, you can make yourself happy by literally just saying positive things. Other similar studies including the effects of smiling on a chemical level have been done, so though not exact, it is an explored topic. At its core, the idea is your attitude toward both positive and negative things. A positive response to a positive event the implies permanence is optimistic (or "resilient"). A positive response to a negative event implies a unique, transitory event.

Positive example:
You receive a rose from a "secret admirer" (read: hobo)
Permanent/optimistic response: "I am the SHIT!!! EVERYONE WHO EVER LIVED LOVES ME UNCONDITIONALLY!!!"
Transitory/pessimistic response: "Woah. Someone has clearly drunk a LOT of Nyquil. Hope it doesn't wear off before we 'accidentally' hook-up."

Negative Example:
You lose a soccer match. (read: my Sunday afternoon)
Permanent/pessimistic response: "Holy crap I suck at sports."
Transitory/optimistic response: "I wonder if Jeopardy is on right now."

So the question becomes not "Are you happy?" which is both black and white as well as permanent, but rather "Do you want to be happier?" And mind you, they aren't referring to rosy, all-is-right-with-the-world attitudes. It's a person's ability to bounce back and think positively that drives both optimism, as well as performance. Because you do better when you think bad performance is a one time deal. Likewise, it's better to focus on strengths rather than weaknesses. Find a new way to be courageous or generous as opposed to wonder why you were never good at them in the first place, which can be frustrating to say the least.

On a final note, tonight was also a delicious throw-back to college because of, yes, "that" guy. You know, the one in section that always makes the most ridiculous arguments and then sits back in a satisfied way while you contemplate whether the right response is to actually point out the obvious fallacies in their argument or just throw your reading material at their face. Some 50 year old man decided to refute the argument by saying "Well what does this mean anyway? Just because they say they're happy doesn't MEAN they're happy!" and then leaned back to confirm his victory. Okay, here's the deal, yes that's true but we're making the assumption that the test subjects are telling the truth. It is not an exact science. That's why all the psychologists get swirlies and wedgies in science high school. But it doesn't make the ENTIRE argument invalid. I chose to simply say "Wow that's retarded," because I'm professional now. Professional like a CAT.