I've discovered a new hang-up of mine

But before I get to this incredibly self indulgent post, I just want to point out that though I had some wonderful suggestions for fixing the pants situation, no one agreed with my option of stuffing a kitten in a belt. I'm a little disappointed in my "readership", frankly. Maybe I *will* get ass implant surgery and then buy new pants AND a kitten just to show you guys up. Okay I just reread that last sentence and I'm not really sure where I was going with that.

However, this whole pants discussion, or lack thereof, has really brought to the forefront a really odd fear that recently surfaced for me. Or, more accurately, a pseudo pet peeve I just developed. Okay, so I've lost a little weight since I got back from Boston. Partially because I can now afford to not constantly be surrounded in a layer of fat I produced to keep warm, sort of like a walrus. A dainty walrus. And partially because for awhile there I didn't have anything better to do so I had the fortitude to tweak my eating. For some reason, that section of body mass that I lost made me just enough attractive to men that now they hit on me much more frequently than before. I wasn't really the catch of the litter, so that can be taken with a grain of salt, but it's enough that I've noticed. First of all, every girl/guy likes to be appreciated, but for some reason it really cheese me off that I wasn't pretty enough 15 lbs heavier, but am now acceptable for dating. I've never been one to really parade myself around, despite the effort I make on my appearance, and I'm just weirdly uncomfortable with strangers flirting with me. I don't even know how to respond because it's never happened before. And every time it does happen now, I feel a little surge of annoyance because it makes me feel like I was previously inadequate. It may seem stupid, but I've never been appreciated for my looks and now I'm just skeeved out by the whole deal. Think of it this way, if I'm so pretty now, what was so wrong with me 4 months ago? I look the exact same, I'm just slimmer.

Item 2 that has been really uncomfortable for me lately is older men hitting on me. I have officially reached the age where I am far enough out of college to be fair game for men over 40. I'm really quite young and feel incredibly young, so I'm having difficulty coming to terms with the idea of getting married right now, which is what most 35 and older men seem to want to do. Add that to the fact that I don't even have my own apartment right now and the whole situation strikes me as such a paradox. A man looking to settle down interested in a woman who has a grad school mind set. I'm not *in* grad school, but you get the idea. I still don't think I'll get married until my late 20s, so at this point I hardly know what to do with a 35 year old man who wants to speed up the process of dating to ensure our lasting commitment to one another. The thing I am most committed to right now is finding the food least likely to make my kitten boot on my sheets again. That's my top priority.

Yeeeeeeeeeeah

Sorry bout that. I basically got back from my trip and got a job and kind of fell off the face of the earth. Sooooo... I GOT A JOB!! I'm working in production for a catalog company that my brother worked in IT for years ago. My three primary functions are doing whatever the VP of Production and Design (Masami = awesome) tells me to do and taking care of organizing info on the copy and nonprofits that we feature in the catalog. My two most favorite charities that I've discovered so far are Quail Unlimited and this one, which is just plain awesome, but I will leave you to discover it yourself. Of course, this may all change when they see that I am either a genius or a freaking idiot, but for now I am content.

In other news, my pants don't fit anymore. It would be alright, but they fall down. Like, off of my ass. The logical thing to do would be buy more pants. However, and I think we can all agree on this, that is stupid. The truly logical thing to do would be to try a belt first and then realize the belt is, also, too big for me. So I did that and it was pretty awesome. My pants fell pretty much halfway down my butt the other day when I was helping to stain and move some wood side tables that had come in the mail all jacked up AND were on backorder. Go India. I'm pretty sure that at least 5 of our warehouse workers saw my striped underwear. The guys are really nice and the underroos were festive, so we can all be thankful for small blessings, but in the meantime I'll be taking votes on how to handle the pants situation. These are my top five answers:

1. Gain back the 15 lbs I just spent the last 4 months losing with my patented diet of 2 boxes of cereal a day
2. The gap is roughly the size of a kitten, so I can just stuff one in there to handle things
3. Wear them at midass level and buy underwear displaying sentimental messages ("May your holidays be blessed with love and laughter", "You are the best granddaughter a grandmother could have", etc.)
4. Only wear skirts, but refuse to shave legs
5. Become a gangrened prostitute

I'm not going to bias your vote with my opinion, but I'm pretty sure that I a) just bought some cheerios and b) went on the SPCA website yesterday. You tell me.