I dream of banks

I'm pretty sure I've gone a little insane lately. I base this mostly upon the fact that just this morning I found myself giggling at information I'm researching on banks. GIGGLING. At BANKS. It's unnatural. At any rate, for my internship I've been doing a lot of bank related projects because one of the clients that my supervisor works with is a local bank. Turns out that what banks are realizing is that the younger generations tend to be much less loyal. This is a problem with banks because less loyalty means less dinero. The latest bank "trend", if you will, is to become more retail-like because the theory is that if people enjoy just walking into the lobby more, then they will be more likely to stay with one particular bank. I'm not going to lie, there's validity in the idea. People have a tendency to shop at stores where they like the layout more. Maybe because they're more comfortable there, maybe because they're shallow bitches like me, I don't know. What this ultimately means is that banks are become more brand and less product (look at me with the advertising lingo). In layman's/my terms, this means that banks are trying to create an image that people recognize and identify with. As a result, a lot of banks are revamping their images. Bank of American has done it, Washington Mutual even has a patent for their branch design, and Umpqua Bank (uuuuuuuuuuumpqua) has its own coffee brand and gives away "Umpqua chocolate" with every receipt. Seems stupid but I like chocolate, so whatever.

However, in what I consider the whole coup de grace in this situation, the new step for many of the banks is to reinvent their image even in their name. Yes, they are removing the word "Bank" from their name because they want to be considered a "financial destination and community center". Lame. But let's consider this more closely: JP Morgan & Chase is changing its name to just Chase. Okay. Harris Bank is changing its name to just Harris. You know what, that's just dumb. I have a cousin named Harris. The last time he visited me, he ran head-first into the banister and was unfazed. I do not want my little cousin Harris conducting my banking for me, end of story. Citibank is now going by Citi. That's just precious. It's al edgy and young now. I can't wait for "Citi" to start spiking its hair and being all angsty and misunderstood. The next step is clearly to call it C. Biti and then just Biti because the C. comes between it and its fans. I'm just saying. I want my freaking Umpqua coffee.