My most favorite part of entry level jobs:

Survey data entry. Let me splain you why: Inevitably, no matter how banal the survey happens to be, you will come across what is truly an amusing answer. To wit, I am creating an Excel spreadsheet that will ultimately tabulate the average of a series of answers about the Dallas Assembly. The Dallas Assembly is a group made up of community leaders, primarily businessmen and women from what I can tell. Basically they attend a seminar once a year or so and every 5 - 6 years, they take a 2 page survey so that they can offer inane feedback, again as far as I can tell. Of course, this means that half of them are probably oil barons who are 80 + with trophy wives. I do so want to become a trophy wife, but that is a story for another time. At any rate, my most favorite answer so far is a rather simplistic one, but somehow sums up the whole experience for me.

How could your experience in The Dallas Assembly be improved?

"Bigger font on name tags"

Bigger font? That's his suggestion? No "more yearly seminars", no "a more diverse ethnic representation", no "hookers and Dr. Daniels". Just "bigger font on name tags". How small could the font possibly be? 12 pt? 9 pt? Maybe the name tags have a small essay on them, I have no idea. But then wouldn't you say "bigger small essay on name tags"? For some reason it just blows my mind that it was the first thing on his mind. For Pete's sake, get a prescription, man! Someone else claimed that the Assembly was weaker because of "political correctness", which, frankly, sounds suspiciously like a healthy degree of racism, if you ask me.

But there is a light at the end of the tunnel. On one of my hour long breaks from my given task, I found this:

WE ARE LOOKING FOR AN UNDISCOVERRED ACTRESS TO PLAY IN A SMALL-MED PART OF OUR DOCUMENTARY OF A CERTAIN COUNRTY STAR, WHICH WILL NOT BE DISCUSSED UNTIL AFTER THE SECOND INTERVIEW. JOB REQUIRES MORE THAN 50 LINES THROUGH OUT THE DOCUMENTARY, WHICH YOU WILL HAVE TO MEMORIZE.

YOU MUST SEND A RESUME OF YOUR SELF AND A PICTURE(S) IS A MUST TO BE CONSIDERED. IF WE ARE INTERESTED WE WILL RESPOND WITH A TIME TO MEET, YOU MISS YOUR TIME AND YOU LOOSE YOUR CHANCE, WE ARE TOO BUSY TO RESCHEDULE.
SORRY NO AGENTS WILL BE ALOUD!!!

* Job location is Dallas area
* Compensation: TBD

Ignoring the fact that I'm looking at a job post for acting, I think my favorite thing about this particular job posting is the automatic distrust it instills in me. Nothing says "future employer" like fear and the desire to kick your interviewer in the knees.

On an entirely different note, my mother has taken the plunge into insanity and got yet another kitten. The little bastard's name is Spencer and he's cute. Oh yes, he's cute. But beneath the mewling and fuzzy exterior that smells vaguely of kitty litter is a conniving, evil being that desires to eat my soul. Yesterday, he climbed up my bare leg like it was a ladder. OF FLESH. Later on he took a flying leap at my chest, a la Aliens, and clambered up to my shoulders using my chest as support. MY CHEST. IT ISN'T SOME KIND OF GODDAMN CLIFF SIMULATION THAT THEY HAVE IN R.E.I. TO CLIMB FOR YOUR HEALTH. IT'S MY FREAKING BREASTS. Needless to say, not amused. I'm trying to make an anagram out of "evil incarnate".