Let's start online, shall we? It took me about 2 weeks to figure out that you even could turn off the chat function on my online dating profile. Oh happy day! My previous approach had been to quickly close the window every time someone chatted me and then, like a startled mouse, peer back online every 10 m or so to see if people were still trying to communicate with me. Well, before I figured that magic out, I first got messaged by Gscot57. Naturally, I immediately shut the window, and when I came back, lo and behold a delicious message was left behind!:
"good luck too ya! u kinda seem like someone that could actually hang with me but, guess will never know...."
Again, I know it seems a little lackluster in terms of crazy talk, but it's so forlorn. Like the poor guy just put all he had into the original "hey whats up" chat he sent me and I just stomped all over his heart like I was making grappa. Oh cruel Fate! Serendipity, you have forsaken me! As have thy callous brethren Grammar and Spelling!! *shakes fist at the dating heavens*
I was so intrigued by the anguished lament of this message that I was prompted to check the guy's profile out. Mind you, this was some 15 m later or so as I came out of hiding. Evidently, his profile doesn't exist. This means one of two things: either he has immediately blocked me and that's the site's way of letting me down easy ("What, him? Oh he died.") or he deleted his profile out of SORROW! Naturally, I choose the latter for dramatic intrigue.
Back to the real world, I have a coworker who I have never quite gelled with, in large part because he was an enormous butthead to me the first project I worked with him on. You know what, sir? I will, in fact, notice if you keep information from me and then treat me like an enormous idiot because I can't read your mind. Neither am I impressed by the professionalism displayed when you tug on my hair and pull my chair out from under me. (for realsies) We're in an office, not a preschool. So today Mr. BH walks over to me, cocks his head like a puppy and says, "I'm sorry, what is THAT?" *points at me*
Me: "What is what?"
BH: "THAT."
Me: "I'm sorry?"
BH: "That BLUE thing."
Me: "This?"
BH: "Yes. What is it?"
Me: "A sweater."
BH: "Really?"
Me: "I guess you could get fancy and call it a cardigan, but it's just a sweater."
BH: "But it's so long!"
Me: "That's called fashion."
BH: *wanders away*
Do we think I'll get fired if I fill his cubicle with shaving cream?
1 comment:
I used to do the same thing on Facebook whenever someone logged on that I didn't want to chat with (run away, peek my head out from under the covers later to see if they'd logged off). Thankfully I discovered the 'off line' button.
I wonder if there's web-etiquette for this kind of thing. Like the jerk who logged of in the middle of an online Scrabble game because I was winning.
Thanks for not writing a blog about God or your kids.
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