Wrapping it up

There are many reasons for this, but suffice to say I'm resigning my online profile. Reason #1 is that I never went on it. Reasons #2 is that apparently I smell like laundry.

ANYWAY, I wasn't missing anything truly fascinating. Tragically, most of the messages I've been racking up whilst away have been normalish. Not compelling, but normal. There are a few quality screen names, like "manchld", "brownchiclets", and "SirCute" which is just kind of lame.

Also had a few quality subjects, including my personal fave "Wud luv 2 get to kno u." Here's my question, if you've already typed that much, how much more is the "w"? Maybe he just didn't have time. Let's find out!

"hey gorgeous, Wud luv 2 get to kno u. I am vet doctor, totally veg, luv animals, work with wild animals, travel around the world helping animals & people, & recently moved here. I luv 2 ride horses, travel, collect art & music, cook foodand Thai is my fav. Wud luv 2 hear from u. u can msg me at andy (dot) raman09 at gmail (dot) com."

Well, well, well andy_raman. I'm intrigued. Not only by the fact that you were clearly so lazy that you just straight up stole your message to me from your profile, but I am also totally veg and luv animals, although with a resume spelled like that, I definitely would NOT let you work with wild animals. Perhaps he is lying about his profession since generally speaking veterinarians have to be able to read? Pssh. Incidentally, he hasn't completed an essay on his profile. It's a mystery as to why.

Lots of people also prefer both the subject "hi" as well as the word "hi" in their message. Go on, Casanova, go on. Not to mention the simple "hey beautiful want 2 get 2 kno me?" No. No I do not. Also, homeless people also call me beautiful. So far I haven't slept with one. I had a gorgeous message that went thusly: "Hey beautiful, Good Morning. How r u? Like ur looks, especially ur smile. Wanna chat and know me?" Hmmmm intriguing. But chatting might involve having to read your messages and that's where it gets hairy.

But it gets better. Here is his description in his profile: "If u U need a down to earth, honest, faithful guy thats romantic and sexual aswell message me..." Well HELL silkstone123, I think I just might! Incidentally, he also likes "Titanic is my fav. movie. i love Chines and itallian food." Not really sure what Chines involves, but it sounds damn delicious. Sign me up, studly.